This is getting ridicules. I feel like I haven’t had a good eating week in months. I will have a good day, sometimes two, but it is always ruined. I always fuck up. 

 I think I am going to start taking my calorie limit and slowly start to lower it. Like 100-200 a week or something until I am down to a nice and tiny number. 

My intake was around 1000 today, witch is just unacceptable and should never happen agin. For the rest of the week I am going to aim for a net of 700 or less. I think that might counteract the shit hole I have put myself in. 

My ankle is now well enough to give it my all. Track has started up, which is wonderful. I run hard during track practice. Also, swimming will begin tomorrow. I am almost giddy with excitement. There are just so many wonderful workout opportunities for me right now. With zero period workouts every school day then running tuesdays wednesdays thursdays and sundays, combined with swimming every monday wednesday friday and saturday I will get the body I need by summer. Or at lest I will get close to it. 

I am going to try to keep my intake as close to eight hundred as I can. I think that this is a high enough intake that my body wont go into any kind of shock, but low enough that results are swift. 

I am so disgusted with the state I am in right now. I could be doing so so much more I am just nothing but a lazy waste of space right now. Although I dont worry my self with that to much because soon it will all be different. 

I ate like shit last night. 

My friends came over and we made so low cal noodles. All was going well, I was under my cal intake by like 500 so I was set. Then it was all shot to hell, my buddy, Sam, went out and got a carton of chocolate ice cream and we ate it. All of it. It was sickening. I am completely disgusted in myself. I thought I had more self control than that. Its wrong is what it is. The worst part is that due to my ankle I haven’t been able to workout like I normally do. The scale measured me at 126, and one pound of that gain I am guessing is fat. Fat fat fat fat fat. The other might be water wight or hopefully, oh god how I do hope, is muscle weight. I have been downing more protein that humanly possibule lately and doing much more weight training. I hope that this some of that is a muscle. I really really hope so.